Today, I’m thinking back to when I came out at work 9 and 1/2 years ago in Atlanta. I remember saying to my friend Beaux that I was bi. He just listened patiently even though I know on the inside he was thinking, “she thinks she’s bi! LOL!” Some months later, after having had a rather emotional day, my friend John decided to take me to Frog’s Cantina to talk over drinks. He asked me what was going on and through my tears he was the first person that I ever told that I thought I was gay. I had never uttered the word before that day. My timing couldn’t have been better. He had just taken a sip of his drink and almost spit it out. He later told me that he was thinking, “Duh! Finally!” (Some Say it was obvious?) I remember he was very supportive. He told me that everything was going to be ok and just relax and be my self. I will always thank him for that day.
I have to admit that it’s much easier to come out to another gay person first. But, everyone at work was so cool and supportive as well. In true Kevin fashion I wanted to have a dramatic one on one coming out moment with each person at work. Instead, everyone I told just said, “and?” or “So what’s the big news?” or “It’s about time. Are you seeing anyone?” Totally ruined the dramatic tearful moments that I had planned on. It was such a non issue. I mean, how could it not be? The department was run by a lesbian, there were 2 other lesbians, 6 gay guys, and a host of gay man loving straight girls working there. They all clocked me as gay within the first 5 minutes of my arrival in the department. I think some even had bets as to when I was coming out. And, thought no one knew. HA! I think the most surprising thing to me was the comfortabliity that all of the straight guys had with it. No one cared. My preceptor, Chris, would bust out into Diana Ross’s ‘I’m Coming Out’ whenever I came around. Such a good turning point in my life.
And so began my new life as an openly gay man in Atlanta. I ran through that closet door as it busrt into flames, so to speak. I am so happy that I moved to Atlanta in Sep 2001 and landed at Piedmont Hospital. My life hasn’t been the same since. Thank God! This led to me coming out to my parents the following year, although, not with the same warm reception. But, I will say, when I eventually told my oldest brother he couldn’t have been cooler about it and we are now extremely close.
So, to everyone coming out today on National Coming Out Day, I pray and hope your initial coming out is a non issue as well. Hopefully it will bring you closer to your family and/or friends. But, if the opposite happens, just know that you are going to make some really awesome new friends that will become your family and support network…”Sometimes the family we end up with is not always the one that we were born with.”
And to all of the straight people that will have a loved one will come out to them as gay, lesbian, bi or transgender today, I pray and hope that you are warm, open, loving, supportive, and it’s a non issue for you. The world needs more straight allies.
Happy National Coming Out Day!
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