It Takes A Global Village

Today I read an article on Advocate.com where a high school senior and his boyfriend in Sanford, Maine were crowned prom king and queen. I find this story so interesting for many different reasons.

Maine is a relatively small state, population wise. It has a population of 1.3 million people. In comparison, the city of Brooklyn, NY has a population of 2.5 million. The city of Sanford, ME has a population of roughly 20 thousand. The high school I went to was shared by two neighboring towns with a combined population of roughly 12 thousand. So going by the numbers, Sanford is a relatively small town. I mention this because small towns haven’t always been known for their liberalness, open mindedness, or acceptance of gay diversity…even if it is located in a more liberal part of the country.

When I think back 20 years to my high school days in a small town, I don’t remember any openly gay students. Sure, there were those students that we all heard rumors about; but, no one certainly was out and proud. And, no one went to school dances or prom with their gay bf/gf. I asked a friend if he thought he could have been brave enough to be out in high school, taken his bf to prom, and have his friends vote them as prom king and queen. He said “maybe…if he was growing up now. Certainly not some 20 years ago.” I know I wouldn’t have been brave enough to do it. So what made the kids in this story and other stories like theirs able to do it? I believe it’s not one thing; but, a combination of things that allowed them to do. 

First, the gay rights movement has come a long way in 20 years.There have been recent high profile people that have come out as gay (Don Lemon, Jared Max, Rick Welts) or gay supporters (Charles Barkley, SF Giants). Plus, there’s the It Get’s Better Project. So, there’s definitely been a palpable shift in how people are viewing gay people in America. 

Another thing that has helped, is having a supportive family. The article didn’t talk about the parents; but, clearly the kids in the article and the kids attending that school had to have open minded parents. Parents who encourage their children to be their authentic selves and to accept others different from themselves. This is tremendous for young gay kids. If they can learn to be themselves at an earlier age, they will be able to grow up to become secure and self confident adults. They won’t have to deal with the personal internal anguish that I dealt with at that age.

Lastly, these kids had to be attending an open minded school. The school officials didn’t try and stop the gay kids from bringing a date to prom. Nor did they stop these kids from being voted prom king and queen(which is basically a popularity contest). The school officials provided a safe space for these young gay boys to come, be with their friends, and enjoy a fun night together with their friends. After I realized (in horror) that I was actually old enough to be the father of one of these kids, I started thinking about what I would want for my own kids. And, I would like to think that I would want nothing more  than for my kids to feel safe. Judging from the big smile on their faces, these kids felt safe.

It’s not just one thing or person that is going to permanently shift the way people view gays in the world. As with the kids in this article, it’s going to take a village…a global village to really make a permanent change. Are you part of that village?