It’s The Little Things…

The other night I was in the kitchen making dinner. My father was doing his usual nightly ritual in the garage. This ritual consists of sitting in his boxers and a bathrobe, watching tv. It’s become his own little man cave. Anyway, while I was making my dinner I heard him do something that was equally funny and sweet at the same time. 

First, let me just say that my parents have two phone lines in the house. One for regular calls, that rings in the kitchen and in their bedroom; and the other for the dsl in my room and in the garage. So rather than having my mother scream his name from upstairs, he just has her call him in the garage and tell him what she wants instead. Whenever I hear her phone him in the garage, I always giggle to myself.


On this particular night, he actually phoned her instead. After I started giggling to myself, I heard what the nature of his call was about. He had run across her favorite old movie on tv and wanted her to know so that she could turn her tv in the bedroom to watch it. The giggling stopped. I thought it was a very sweet gesture. One that I would never have expected him to make.


Growing up I always considered my parents relationship to be tenuous because they argued a lot. I always thought that they were together because of the children and because they didn’t believe in divorce. I don’t ever remember my father making any kind of demonstratively romantic gesture towards my mother. I don’t know if it’s because they’ve both mellowed out with age and are nicer to each other; or, if it’s just because I choose to only remember the negative things about my parents that makes this gesture so astonishing. Either way, on this night It was this one little thing that caught my attention and made me begin to really see my father in a different light. 


It made me stop and think about the way I think about my parents. I’ve been resentful and holding grudges about a lot of different things. But, maybe if I try and look past all the negative issues that I hold against them; I might actually see something deeper and subtle that my resentment and grudge holding has kept me blinded from. It made me realize that your loved ones really aren’t looking for some sort of grand gesture to show them that you love them. It’s the little things that make the difference. It’s the little thing of offering to help my father clean the garage before being asked. It’s the little thing of popping my head into my mother’s room a few times a day and talking with her. It’s the little things that really say, I love you. 

I still have issues with them. But, it’s the little things that are helping me get past them.